yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize