Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
