sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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