I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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