Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I'm both gender and math confused
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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