I think scott just propositioned me for sex
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
