Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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