I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
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