I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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