you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
