what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
where am i from again
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
