only if we run a train.
done.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
