So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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