I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize