What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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