As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
