Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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