too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
