I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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