So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize