I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
