i don't like sucking hair
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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