i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
This is my gift to your gina
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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