the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
