We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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