I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
