Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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