So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize