omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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