Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
