right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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