I just made out with a guy for $7.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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