after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
