it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Randomize
