I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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