Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Sacagawea was the original milf.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
