I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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