dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
