PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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