put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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