We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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