i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Randomize
