don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize