I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
