You're completely useless in the revolution.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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