I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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