I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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