Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
