you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
