Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
