Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
