allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
