Don't you send me to vm
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Randomize
