So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize