im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
