Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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