I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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