He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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