I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
