you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
