playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
