yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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