Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
