I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize