so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
