I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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