The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Randomize
