In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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