He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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