Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
