saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
