i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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