I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
