I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
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I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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