like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
